If I thought I knew what I was doing I was wrong....we are super close to getting an agreement signed and all of a sudden I am questioning my participation all together...WTF? The universe really has something in store for me and I have no idea what that is....i am being challenged to question everything, trust everything, and throw myself off a cliff and know that the net will appear.
To look @ the future and have no idea what is planned and be excited rather than afraid...to trust my instincts...my spirit...and know that I am held in the arms of god...always...and that I will always be provided for and taken care of....
Alright...here we go.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Letting go
Wow so many many lessons I am learning along the way...
1) Its f*ing hard to be a business owner.
2) Its even harder to be successful at it.
3)Being married should be a cinch after this...at least I get sex out of it:)
4)Its all relationships...how you treat people will come back to you...for sure!
5)Its about power not force....leaders use power...they don't have to force an outcome.
6) you have to be unattached...when you are attached you can take the whole thing down.
I have made some grave mistakes in my two ventures as a business owner...but with each venture I am getting a little better. Most of these mistakes have been against myself. Like working for three years on a business with no formal agreement....and now I have nothing but the lessons to show for it....
I am in the process of dissolving a partnership and lets say she has been less than graceful through the transition. Today I finally decided to draw my boundary....and say no more...I walked out of work and took a mental health day. As I was lying on the beach getting support and coaching from another friend who is a CEO and further down the path than me...I began to receive text on how other people were handling this....amazing really I could sit on the beach and it could get handled without me doing it?
My ego does not understand...but my spirit knows it is God really who has the plan...and my job is to be open, graceful and willing to see the signs. When it is this tough it is not it....
1) Its f*ing hard to be a business owner.
2) Its even harder to be successful at it.
3)Being married should be a cinch after this...at least I get sex out of it:)
4)Its all relationships...how you treat people will come back to you...for sure!
5)Its about power not force....leaders use power...they don't have to force an outcome.
6) you have to be unattached...when you are attached you can take the whole thing down.
I have made some grave mistakes in my two ventures as a business owner...but with each venture I am getting a little better. Most of these mistakes have been against myself. Like working for three years on a business with no formal agreement....and now I have nothing but the lessons to show for it....
I am in the process of dissolving a partnership and lets say she has been less than graceful through the transition. Today I finally decided to draw my boundary....and say no more...I walked out of work and took a mental health day. As I was lying on the beach getting support and coaching from another friend who is a CEO and further down the path than me...I began to receive text on how other people were handling this....amazing really I could sit on the beach and it could get handled without me doing it?
My ego does not understand...but my spirit knows it is God really who has the plan...and my job is to be open, graceful and willing to see the signs. When it is this tough it is not it....
Monday, September 21, 2009
Magical Man
So I met this magical man...at my spiritual center...it was one of those moments that you can't quite explain. This man looked at me and knew what I was feeling...not just in that moment but in life...his reflection of me to me...made me weep...oh how we long to be seen, right?...to be really known in the world.
I met him for lunch today because he insisted that he had messages for me...and I knew he was right...he had so many gems for me I wished that I had taken notes...I could have been cynical and believed that he was hitting on me...a tiny sliver thought maybe...but I didn't care because I knew that he did indeed have something deep and profound to offer me.
One of the things he said that I loved was that he didn't know why he was drawn to meet with me and make himself available to me, if he knew that would be ego...but the fact that he didn't he knew it was spirit. I have had that not sure why I was drawn to someone...but clearly was...I love how he explained that, great distinction.
Okay so he encouraged me to journal...(to me that means blog) so here I am. He said that I am oozing with energy on the brink of something big...but I have to make myself ready for it...journal and meditate...those are my missions right now.
I had this feeling that I should do this yoga teacher training...and now...I am sure that if there is still room for me and I can work out the money then it is meant to be. And that will put some structure around this thing that he is saying will help me move to this next level.
Not even sure if this post is good...but time to meditate.
Tomorrow is another day...sometimes when it feels like too much its smart to take it 24hrs at a time.
I met him for lunch today because he insisted that he had messages for me...and I knew he was right...he had so many gems for me I wished that I had taken notes...I could have been cynical and believed that he was hitting on me...a tiny sliver thought maybe...but I didn't care because I knew that he did indeed have something deep and profound to offer me.
One of the things he said that I loved was that he didn't know why he was drawn to meet with me and make himself available to me, if he knew that would be ego...but the fact that he didn't he knew it was spirit. I have had that not sure why I was drawn to someone...but clearly was...I love how he explained that, great distinction.
Okay so he encouraged me to journal...(to me that means blog) so here I am. He said that I am oozing with energy on the brink of something big...but I have to make myself ready for it...journal and meditate...those are my missions right now.
I had this feeling that I should do this yoga teacher training...and now...I am sure that if there is still room for me and I can work out the money then it is meant to be. And that will put some structure around this thing that he is saying will help me move to this next level.
Not even sure if this post is good...but time to meditate.
Tomorrow is another day...sometimes when it feels like too much its smart to take it 24hrs at a time.
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